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Jackass Script - Dialogue Transcript Voila! I know, I know, I ldaies need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards for more free movie scripts! Jackass Script Hi. I'm Johnny Knoxville.

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All right, you guys, touch gloves and come out fighting. Oh, great! Oh, you're in so much trouble. Don't never come in here no more, man!

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When you get knocked down, you gotta get back up I ain't the sharpest knife in the drawer But I know enough to know If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough Something major, gonna write it down. We're gonna have fun.

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Are you okay? I almost broke my leg getting out of there!

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Yeah, yeah. It'll be all right. This is bullshit!

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Yeah, I had a little, to be honest. I know what my fortune is. I say somebody's gonna get their head kicked in tonight. What do you mean? And at last! We're here in Tokyo, and I feel like partying. This is a bad angle.

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I'm not gonna agree! You're just in time, Manny. Wait a minute. What the? This alligator?!

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Come on! Look at Phil's tummy. I'm doing it!

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That was like the worst thing that could ever happen right there. Look at that cart. What is that? I can't expect you to see me when I'm not around And my voice is destroyed by confinement of sound I'm a human machine laced with hidden disease If the future looks bleak, then you're connected to me Flesh into gear My self appears dissected and pretentious A simple sound, a heavy sigh Could win the whole world over You live in fear of being someone you didn't want to He's got a boner.

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I am afraid that he may not recognize his relative when he comes to the door It is ridiculous to think about it I should have thought of this long ago What is so angry and dissatisfied. He li It's called the pen-prevent. And the whole dance hall will be a total mess Get this out of your pocket, man! Here he comes. When the days are short and the nights are long And I walk and they walk I twist and they twist And I shimmy and they shimmy And I fly and they fly Well, we're out there having fun In the warm California sun Where they're out there havin' fun In the warm California sun Where they're out there havin' fun In the warm California sun.

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Like, an ember fell right in my corn hole, dude. Do another one. Hey, my man If I do your hand, you'll forget about the pain in your foot. Prissy motherfucker! It's cacti! ror

So, we're finding it a little bit chilly in Japan. The whole thing doesn't work.

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Gator wrestling. This stuff will do a of things to improve your overall health. All right.

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John's gonna win, dude. Dude, dude. You won't be able to poop it out.

It's moving! Oh, how can he treat me?